Camel is THE new fiber….

Quick update:  I just finished spinning up the 4 oz. of camel/merino that I bought at the fiber festival (I really wish I purchased a LOT more of it) and I’m in love with both the fiber itself and the yarn it produced.  The fiber was so fine and so easy to spin and the resulting yarn is soft, fluffy and just plain yummy!!!  I ended up leaving it as singles to get the most yardage out of it.  I got just over 210 yards and plan to make a pair of fingerless mitts for myself.

On the personal front:  Things have been a little bit stressed here at Casa Dwire.  I’m still cutting down the Methadone a little at a time and that makes me feel good (warning: if you ever have back/pain issues, DON’T let your doctor talk you into methadone for pain unless it’s the very last resort…I mean after trying surgery and any/all other options) to be getting back to myself, but the withdrawl is still sucking ass in a big way.  I wanted to get so much more involved in life right after finishing the Zoloft (another one I strongly warn against) but the withdrawl from the Methadone makes that difficult to say the least.  I’m getting there, though.  I have an appointment with Dr. M on Thursday and TJ and I are going to talk to her about my options for making this process easier without making it drag on for months.  I know I can’t go cold turkey, but I want this over, ASAP.  I’m focusing on wanting another baby when it gets tough and I want to give up and I have to admit that since I’ve cut down the dose, my sex drive is up a bit.  I keep reading that it will continue to rise as the methadone gets out of system.  I’m certainly hoping so and I KNOW TJ is praying for it. LOL  See, I still have my sense of humor in this difficult time.  Both knitting and spinning are helping me through this time (spinning especially b/c it doesn’t require as much concentration).  I’m working on the two scarf projects for X-mas gifts and the cross stitch pattern that I’m finishing for Uncle Dave’s family (it was started by Dave’s wife Charlotte, who passed away from cancer last February.  What an absolute honor it was that they asked me to finish it).   I’m also doing more spindle spinning and trying out new fibers on the wheel whenever I can.  All in all, I’m surviving if not quite “living” yet.  I’ll get there, though, I know I will!!!

Withdrawl sucks

So pretty much anyone that knows me well knows about my back problems over that last 4 years and that I’ve been on pain meds. ever since.  I decided that it was time to live life without the constant narcotic haze and the apathy and lack of desire to do anything that comes with it.  My doctor didn’t feel like it was a good time to start weaning me b/c it took so long to get my meds just right and to make me able to function without pain and take care of Jacob.  So, being the very smart individual that I tend to be, I decided about a month ago that I was going to stop taking them on my own.  It’s been a long and painful (at times) road getting through the withdrawl that comes with years of taking strong narcotics – I always thought it would be easier somehow b/c of I wasn’t taking them for fun, rather for a genuine medical need and it was perscribed for me.  Not so!!!  I’m almost done now, but it’s sucking more than ever at this stage.  I do have some really good days as well, though.  I feel like I’m starting to get emotions and drive back and that can be good or bad depending.  For example, I just spent fifteen minutes crying about the Worthless song on The Brave Little Toaster movie that Jake was watching.  Silly, huh?  🙂