We’ve made it to 31 weeks…YAY!!! Major milestone considering that 4 or 5 days ago I was convinced that this baby was coming in the next few days ready or not… They had already warned me about not eating too much breakfast on any given day that I felt “lousy” when waking up and had given my the 2 day/2 dose betamethasone shot to get Connor’s lungs matured faster than nature might intend. I spent the entire weekend hooked up to belts and monitors at the Labor and Delivery Triage while they poked and prodded and took blood and urine and tried to determine if I was going to go home, stay there for monitoring or go straight to O.R. (do not pass go, do not collect your baby until weeks of NICU). In the end I got to go home but with a prescription for Ambien and strict instructions to take it up to twice a day if that’s what it took to keep my happy ass in bed where it belongs. So home I went and I did take the Ambien twice, but only on the first day and only b/c I was exhausted and the thought of uninterrupted sleep was like a little bit of manna from the Gods above. I slept for 4 hours uninterrupted that afternoon (man did I have to pee when I woke up, though)
This week has been all about going to the doctor, the dietician, the perinatologist and anyone else that feels like looking at, poking or prodding me. I’ve had non-stress tests, 24 hour urine tests, liver enzyme and kidney function tests and that’s just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. My blood sugar (even with the upped insulin) is still up and down, but we think that it has to do with the fact that I’m not eating on a regimented enough schedule, so for the next week I have to eat breakfast at 7:30, snack by 9:30, lunch between 11am and noon, snack by 2-3pm, dinner around 6 ish and a bedtime snack around 9 to 10 pm. In theory this will bring my sugar to a predictable level. It may be a predictable high level still, but at least then we’ll know that I need more insulin rather than wondering if it’s the fact that I skipped this meal or that snack that are causing my numbers to go all over the place. YAY! My blood pressure is also all over the place. Just today I had a 138/77 at one doctor’s office and 20 minutes (and no stress or activity) later it was 147/90 at the other doctor’s office. I come home and take the Labetalol that they prescribed for this problem and it makes me pressure spike even more 147/88; okay, I guess not more exactly, but this med is supposed to LOWER my pressure not keep it the same and make the headaches worse. ARGH!!!
We did have an ultra-sound today, so I got to see the little bub. At 31 weeks, my little piggy weighs 4lbs 11oz. That’s almost 5 lbs. What the hell is he going to weight at 36 weeks or God help me 39 weeks. Thank the Lord above for c-sections!!! Everything with him looks good. He beat the hell out of me for the whole ultra-sound, which they tell me is a good thing. He’s a strong little boy and I’m grateful for that!! Keep it up Connor, Mommy knows you can do it!!!
I’m still on bed rest which makes for all sorts of strange things. I’m playing a lot of friend catch up on Facebook and it’s so funny the people who you hadn’t thought of in years, or the people from your past that you hated or that hated you that step up and are really supportive and there for you when you are in crisis. It proves that people really do grow and change after high-school and that, unfortunately there are some people who you always thought would be there for you for your whole life, no matter what, no matter how far away you were, no matter where life took you…you know, the kind of people who you were such a part of and were such a part of you that people thought of you as one person for most of your formative years; people you thought of beyond the meager bonds of friendship and into family that just don’t seem to give a flying…well, you get the picture. I have a friend like that and I’m not sure what I did to make her have such antipathy for me and for the situation I’m in. It would have gone such a long way to hear any small words of encouragement from her re: this situation; just to have her ear for an hour the way I used to so I could babble or we could talk about the old days or anything to keep my mind off the horror that is bed-rest etc. She seems to have decided that I’m not worthy of being a part of her life anymore and I have to accept that. I don’t hold it against her, of course, I wish her all the happiness in the world; if anyone deserves it it’s her and the wonderful man she married (who I don’t get to hear from anymore either, but that, I guess is to be expected). I hope they live the rest of their lives in unmitigated bliss having everything they want and all the joy they can take from it. I just hope she thinks of what we had on occasion and maybe misses me a little bit. I will always miss her.
I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about the past while stuck in this bed. Little OCD fits, I call them. Sometimes I miss being in high school. Things were much simpler then. Fun didn’t have as many consequences and you had everything to look forward to. Some of my new FB friends are making me think more and more about that past and just how very long ago it was. Do you ever wonder if there was any way to get some of that back? Of course then the rational part kicks back in and realizes that the life we all have as adults is so much more rewarding than being 16 or 17 again could ever be, but as John Travolta and Olivia Newton John put it best: “Oh, those Summer nights….” I leave you with that thought for tonight. Ponder it well and think about what you miss and what you would love to go back to for just one night…I know what my choice would be, no competition!