Withdrawl sucks

So pretty much anyone that knows me well knows about my back problems over that last 4 years and that I’ve been on pain meds. ever since.  I decided that it was time to live life without the constant narcotic haze and the apathy and lack of desire to do anything that comes with it.  My doctor didn’t feel like it was a good time to start weaning me b/c it took so long to get my meds just right and to make me able to function without pain and take care of Jacob.  So, being the very smart individual that I tend to be, I decided about a month ago that I was going to stop taking them on my own.  It’s been a long and painful (at times) road getting through the withdrawl that comes with years of taking strong narcotics – I always thought it would be easier somehow b/c of I wasn’t taking them for fun, rather for a genuine medical need and it was perscribed for me.  Not so!!!  I’m almost done now, but it’s sucking more than ever at this stage.  I do have some really good days as well, though.  I feel like I’m starting to get emotions and drive back and that can be good or bad depending.  For example, I just spent fifteen minutes crying about the Worthless song on The Brave Little Toaster movie that Jake was watching.  Silly, huh?  🙂