Total Change of Plans…

Just as I was settling in to the knitting and purling of the Gansey Sock pattern, I get the uncontrollable and completely ridiculous urge to knit for Christmas. Lmao. I am a glutton for punishment. 
Here’s the new list of wips (pictures of yarn, progress etc. to follow):
The Bubble Haze Shawl I’d almost finished. That will be done in time, no problem.
Pinstripe Shawl : Found this gem on Ravelry tonight. Was looking through the color combinations, saw the black w/ pink striping and I knew it had to be knit, inmediately.
Maddy ‘ s Hat: Quick baby sized knit. This will be my first attempt at faire isle.  I’m feeling ambitious.
Brad ‘ s Socks: I have to frog and redo sock #2. The heel went wonky somehow. The problem is that I started these almost three years ago. I want them done and gone, but I dread working on them. I will finish them though.
I need two more relatively quick and easy knits still.  I’m thinking hats and/or fingerless mitts for gaming. Any suggestions for either of these for boys/men would be appreciated.
I also discovered a shawl called Tattered which I will talk about next time. 

Kick Me….

Please, someone kick me in the butt and get me to work on these knitting goals I have set. I’ve joined the Wendy Knits Mystery Shawl Along and am challenging myself to knit 1000 yards as well as wheel spin 6 oz. of fiber (any suggestions….fiber, way to spin, weight etc. Think of me as a total noob who has the fortune, or misfortune of being able to spin only fairly thinly.)Then there is the dreaded plying part…I challenged myself to ply at least 1/2 of the singles spun on the wheel. I dread plying more than anything else for some reason. I’ve never really taken the time to get to know how to do it properly and now I’m scared of messing up perfectly passable singles while trying to “fiddle” with them more.
I got all my yarn and fiber out for a Ravelry stash update and sadly lacking fiber stash. I was going to post some fibery porn for y’all today, but haven’t gotten around to it. I got a new phone yesterday (Galaxy s5) and it’s great so far. So much to play with that I haven’t gotten down all the little tricks and shortcuts. Any tips much appreciated. ūüôā
So B having a girlfriend is a lot harder on me than even I thought it would be. I realize that he’s right in the respect that if I really love him and he really is my best friend, then I should want him to be happy. And I do. I’m just so freaking selfishly worried about what happens to me as this….relationship….progresses. What girlfriend in their right mind would be okay with her new man living with his best friend, who just happens to be a female, who just happens to be his ex, who’s kids just happen to call him dad….I just don’t see her sitting back and respecting the friendship we have. I am terrified that she’s going to make him choose and three years of friendship goes flying out the window for some chick who I doubt will still be around in 6 months. It happens that way….Living together was complicated enough when we were friends “with benefits”. There was a release for the tension that builds constantly in this house, there was a balance somehow. He thinks I was pretending we were a couple, and maybe in the ease of living way, I was. It’s easy to get into a routine. I don’t want us to necessarily be together, but I also don’t want this little family that we’ve built with me and him and my kids and his son to go away. I just don’t see how the two things: his new relationship and our little blended family can be anything but mutually exclusive. Any thoughts?
This I why I need to get the needles and wheels and fiber and yarn etc. and loose myself in it. I need to stop the brain from whirring along and turning this into some horrible situation where I feel like my whole way of life is being fucked with and that I have to fight or run. I need to learn to chill out and see what comes next. How though? I feel like I’m stuck in quicksand.
Okay, thanks for coming to my pity party. It was rather impromptu, but I appreciate those of you who stuck around. I will throw a fiber porn party tomorrow, once I figure some shit out with my new phone, to make up for this maudlin crap today. Hope you are all having a fluffy or silky or whatever floats your boat kind of fibery day…

Finished BSJ (almost) and Struck Down By Shawl Fever

After more than a few false starts I finally finished a BSJ. ¬†It really is an amazing; almost magical, knit. ¬†I still find it hard to believe that the wonky little oddly shaped rectangle or so of knitting turned out to be this really cute jacket. ¬†I don’t have pictures yet to put up. ¬†I will take pictures before giving to its recipient. ¬†I used Rayon Sparkle from Over the Rainbow Yarns on E-Bay and I love, love, love most of her stuff. ¬†This yarn is so soft that I can’t think of a good way to describe it. ¬†I have three different colorways of it varying from a white to lightest pink¬†variegation¬† (the main color of the BSJ) to darkest pink with some carmel colors mixed in variegation and a mid-shades of pink variegation. All three of them have a bit of Angelina or Fire Star in it that give it its sparkle and shine in the light. ¬†Just beautiful yarns all the way around.

When I finished the BSJ I was struck by a problem I hadn’t had before; there was nothing on the needles to pick up and start knitting. ¬†So out came the laptop, on went Ravelry and somehow I ended up in the shawl category. ¬†I have tons of lace and fingering weight yarn in gorgeous variegated colors as well as solids and everything in between. ¬†The problem: ¬†I mostly have only one skein of each. ¬†I used to just wander around my LYS and pick up one skein here and there of everything I thought was pretty; that, my friends is the danger of going to the yarn shop without a clear idea of what you want the yarn for. ¬†So I have yarn for lots of shawlettes or scarves, but I’m finding myself more and more taken by the full-sized, lacy shawls. ¬†I spent countless hours on Ravelry looking at yarns, patterns, other people’s images of their projects etc. ¬†In the end, I’ve cast on a Forest Canopy shawl using Socks That Rock Lightweight in the Grimm’s Willow Wren (I think that’s the name, I always screw it up) colorway and the Vortex Pi shawl (knitting and math together – my dad would have been proud) in Jojoland Melody. ¬†It’s a red/purple/greenish colorway and I think the really long repeats of Melody and the way they blend and feather together is going to look wonderful, I hope.

There are also several shawls on deck for Christmas presents this year to people ¬†have been extremely nice. ¬†A Birthday Pi, a Lady Eleanor and an Enchanted Forest (again, not sure about a name). ¬†There are also a ton of socks that I want to knit and I’d really like to get back into spinning for relaxation. ¬†We’ll see how it all goes. ¬†Will keep you updated, gentle friends.

BSJ progress

The BSJ project is coming along nicely. ¬†I’m using two colors rather than just one; I thought a deeper red in random stripes making up less than a third of the design would be a nice contrast. ¬†So far I like the way it looks. ¬†I’ve been reading a lot in the Ravelry group about Baby Surprise Jackets as well as a few other sites/KALs that have been giving me tons of great information. ¬†I couldn’t have done it without them going before me. ¬†I’m a little less than 1/2 way done right now. ¬†It’s coming out really well and I really like it. ¬†I’m not finding as much time to work on it as I’d like to, but It will be finished soon and given to the happy couple/new parents. ¬†What they chose to do with it from there I have no control over. ¬†I hope they like it.

Baby Knitting

Or lack thereof…

I don’t know what it is, but I have had no urge at all to knit for this baby. ¬†Maybe it’s b/c it’s still not totally real, although with the kicks becoming more frequent I think it’s becoming more real. ¬†I bought the book Expectant Little Knits before I was even pregnant b/c I wanted to make things for myself as soon as I found out it was going to happen, but now that I’m pregnant nothing in it really appeals to me. ¬†ARGH!! ¬†I’ve gone through the baby section on Ravelry repeatedly at this point and I can’t find anything that I really want to make for this little one.

I know that I’ll bust out the crochet hook and the acrylic yarn and make a blanket or two for everyday use, but it seems like such a waste that I have all this amazing yarn and this skill to make little things but I just can’t seem to motivate to do it. ¬†Anyone else have this problem while pregnant? ¬†I’ve selected sock yarn for myself for the delivery. ¬†I plan/hope to make a pair of socks to wear for each day that I’m in the hospital (which should be either 4 or 5 days) so that I’ll have something funky and fun to wear other than the hospital gown. ¬†Besides, my feet tend to get cold. ¬†We’ll see if I even get that done, though, as I don’t have a whole lot of knitting drive lately. ¬†It’s completely the opposite of what I thought would happen. ¬†I thought I’d be in knitting overdrive by now, but so far it’s just not kicking in. ¬†We’ll see what happens… ¬†Any baby patterns/suggestions are much appreciated at this point. ¬†Thanks!!!

I want to learn to spin…

So I met this cool chick who happens to have the same name as me on Ravelry which is cool in and of itself, but she also lives right here in the Kazoo area, has a knitting group for me to go to AND she makes and sells the most beautiful spindles.¬† She sells them through her esty shop ; if you’re looking to buy a gorgeous top whorl spindle for yourself or someone you love, you really have to check it out.¬† The workmanship is great, the designs are AMAZING and she doesn’t sell anything that she wouldn’t use herself or give to one of her kids or friends.¬† A great little indie shop.¬† Okay, enough shameless plugging for new friends…LOL

All of my knitting the last few days has been centered around my scarf swap partner.¬† I don’t want to say too much b/c I’m not sure if she reads this or not; I’m really not sure that anybody reads this, LOL, but I post away anyway.¬† Hopefully I’ll build up some links on other blogs and some readers.¬† Or not.¬† Either way is okay, I write b/c I love to.¬† I had a scarf that I designed myself for her, but that didn’t work too well, so I went back to the drawing board and decided to use some of the gorgeous yarns I bought originally for sock knitting, but didn’t use for it.¬† It’s fingering weight, which lends itself to lace knitting pretty well, so that’s what I’m going to do.¬† I’m actually doing two scarves, one for spring/summer/fall (the lace one)¬† and one for winter with a silk/alpaca blend that’s doubled.¬† Both are fairly simple, but pretty patterns and I’m going to add some extras for her as well.¬† This is my first swap and I don’t want to do too little, I’d much rather give too much.¬† I really like the idea of swaps.¬† I get to make something for somebody who will truly appreciate it and I get something that someone else made with their own two hands, for me.¬† I want so badly to make what I make perfect and I feel somewhat inadequate, but I’ll get over it.¬† Nothing is perfect and I’m not a bad knitter, just an insecure one.

TJ is sick today.¬† I hate when he is sick, it makes me feel so helpless.¬† He’s the one that’s always got it together in this house, I’m the one with the problems (sleep apnea that’s pretty much debilitating, the back problems when Jacob was a baby, the pneumonia I’ve had three times in the last three years etc.), TJ is the strong one.¬† I try really hard when he is sick to take good care of him and he says that I do.¬† That makes me feel really good.¬† He does so much for this family and I feel like taking care of Jacob and the house isn’t enough; I never feel like I’m pulling my weight, especially now that I’m bone weary¬† all the time.

Speaking of the sleep apnea from hell…it’s getting more and more annoying everyday.¬† I think I was honestly better off before I knew about it.¬† Sure, I felt lazy as hell and useless (I think I have serious self-esteem issues) but I didn’t realize why I was tired and I blew it off as laziness.¬† Now that I know, it seems like it’s even harder for me to fight.¬† The last two days Jake and I have spent most of the day indoors while I slept on and off, mostly sitting up and really making my neck ache.¬† I’m afraid to spend too much time outside with him b/c I have the pool out there and I fall asleep without realizing I’m even tired until I wake up twenty minutes or so later.¬† So I wait, not so patiently, for them to call from the sleep clinic and let me know if the ASV test worked.¬† If so, I should have my machine in a week’s time or less and be feeling 100% better in no time.¬† I have so many plans for what I’m going to do to make this time up to Jacob when I’m better.¬† We don’t leave the house much b/c it’s been suggested that until I have treatment I only drive when necessary.¬† So I’m stuck in the house.¬† At least we have a video store really close by and we can pick up movies.¬† he’s just starting to like non-animated stuff. Bedknobs and Broomsticks is his favorite movie right now, and I don’t mind it at all.¬† It’s a cute little movie.¬† I’ve been trying to get him to watch Mary Poppins, but he’s shown very little interest.¬† I’m going to rent it next week and just play it for him; I think he’ll really like it.¬† Any of the Beethoven movies he also really likes.¬† After watching one, he goes around the house yelling for Beethoven like we own the dog. It’s too cute.¬† He’s also been really sweet about TJ being sick. Every time TJ coughs or sneezes, Jake runs to him and asks him if he’s okay.¬† LOVE IT!¬† He’s also been really sweet to me.¬† He’s been randomly coming up to me and kissing my hand or my arm or my leg and telling me, “I love you, Mommy”.¬† It makes my day so much brighter.¬† Right now I’m ready to kill him, of course, b/c he refuses to go to sleep and he’s doing things seemingly to annoy me or get a reaction anyway.¬† I just want a little time for myself after being tired and cooped up all day.¬† I know it’s not PC or even “good parenting” to say this, but sometimes I get so sick of him.¬† Don’t get me wrong, I adore him, but there are days when it just feels like he’s testing every limit I have.¬† I think I’m coming down with what TJ has, I’m headachey and I’m much less even tempered than I’ve been lately.¬† This sucks.¬† So I’m going to take my vitamin C, and eat well (yeah, that’s me…NOT) and try to get some decent sleep and hope that it passes over me.¬† I just can’t afford to be sick and then have Jake (who is already coughing a little) get sick as well.¬† Ask anyone who knows me in person, I’m not good at being sick, not good at it at all. ūüôā

I’m off to play in Ravelry for awhile and then knit a bit and read some more of Harry Potter 7 (which I could go on about for days and I’ve only read the first 100 pages.) and try to sleep.¬† Night y’all.

Magic Loop, I love you!!

Is that weird?¬† To love a knitting technique.¬† I don’t think so.¬† It’s something that I’ve been thinking about trying for awhile, but I’ve been afraid to.¬† I haven’t mastered the 2 circs. technique, and I thought that it would make Magic Loop even harder for me to do.¬† Not so bad, though.¬† I didn’t do a great job with it, of course, but it didn’t bite me in the ass, either.¬† there is something magical about it, too.¬† It’s a little complicated to remember which thing to pull and which to use, but I know I’ll get the hang of it.¬† I have a felted bowl that’s been on hold forever b/c I didn’t have the right size DPN for the project, but now that I can use the ML technique, I can finally finish and felt it.¬† I’m especially happy b/c i also have patterns for felted baskets and bowls and I know they all will need small circumference knitting and while I don’t mind the dpn’s, I’d rather avoid them when possible.¬† I can’t seem to eliminate the ladders no matter how hard I try.¬† I think, thanks to Ravelry’s groups and the Magic Loop group in particular, I’ve given in and am ready to give up the DPN’s and the straights and use only my circulars.¬† They are much easier to wrangle and they don’t get lost as easily and as much as I love my bamboo straights, they are all a bit warped at this point.¬† Besides, there’s a kit out there with bamboo circulars; I already have plastic (Denise Interchangeable) ¬† and metal (Boye Needlemaster) and I’m about to order the Options set which is nickle plated.¬† I have every set available…LOL

Fifi is back on track.¬† I’m about to start the increases again.¬† It’s taken forever and a lot of heartache to get this far, but I’m confident that it will go well now.¬† We’ll see, I guess.

Still no word from the medical supply people.¬† I WANT MY CPAP NOW!!! I’m so fucking tired all the time, it’s killing me.¬† I sleep far too much and never feel rested at all.¬† ARGH.¬† This can’t happen soon enough for me.

On a funny note, today I was sitting on the bed, Raveling (is that the right term?) and Jacob looks at me and says “You stay right here, I be right back,” he goes to the door, opens it, looks back at me and says “Now you behave”.¬† He had the sternest look on his face when he said that; he was mimicing me telling him that when I leave him alone in the bedroom for a few minutes.¬† If only only could have seen his face, it was so serious. LOL

Night Y’all