7 months old

Today, technically yesterday I guess Connor turned 7 months old. I can’t believe how quickly the time has flown by nor can I believe that the tiny preemie I brought home in July is this amazing huge baby I hold and rock to sleep every night.
So much has changed in this time. He

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Connor Franklin Coming Home

This is so backwards.  I still owe everyone, myself included, several posts re: Connor’s very early birth and his time in the NICU.  I plan to add these posts soon.  It’s just been too hard and too raw to bring myself to put thought to paper, or screen as the case may be.  I think I needed a little bit of time and space to process everything before writing it all out.

I did start to post from my hospital room the day after my c-section, but I was far to drugged to know what I was saying and I don’t even know where the draft that I thought I had saved was.

Short version (to be followed in detail very soon):  Connor was born June 3, 2010 at 2:47 pm after I was rushed to the hospital the night before.  I was just barely past 33 weeks when he was born.  He was HUGE for his gestational age, weighing in at 5 lbs 15.4 oz. and 19.7 inches long.  He didn’t really look like a preemie for the most part except for his skin was still very thin and he had very little fat on his back and almost no butt at all.  He was whisked straight to the NICU and I was taken to recovery.  I only saw him for a VERY short time in his incubator later that day.  My recovery was uneventful if a lot more painful that c-section #1 was.  I was admitted on Wednesday night and discharged on Monday night.  The stay in the hospital was actually very peaceful for me; a nice buffer zone between me and the reality that I was going to have to go home  WITHOUT MY BABY.  I survived that horror – barely, I must say – and have made it though all the tough times since.

Jumping ahead to now:  Connor is about a week from being able to come home and I couldn’t be more thrilled.  He’s the most beautiful, sweet, wonderful baby there has ever been (other than Jacob of course who was just as sweet and wonderful) and I’m absolutely in love with him.  I can’t wait to have him in my arms whenever I want him.  Unlike Jacob, Connor wants to nurse – all the time it seems.  I’m thinking that once we get him home exclusively breast feeding (he has bottles in the hospital) won’t be a problem at all.  Sure there will be some kinks to work out, but I know he’ll get there.  My mother is here for 2 months to help us out and we wouldn’t have been able to handle this NICU nightmare without her and her help.  My health has been a series of ups and downs since Connor came, mostly downs.  Right now my blood pressure is higher than it’s ever been in my life and I”m not sure what is causing it or what can be done.  I’ve put off any real medical intervention b/c anything they give me will be contraindicated for breast feeding and that’s not something I’m willing to give up on.  We’ll see what can be done.  Must get some sleep for now…wanted to share the news and promise a more in depth series of posts re: the beginning of Connor’s life in the next week or so.  XOXO

33 Weeks and Great O.B. Appointment

I actually had a good O.B. appointment!!  You could knock me over with a feather.  I’d come to expect the worst from every appointment that having things go well never even crossed my mind after the last few weeks.  First was the NST and he passed it with flying colors.  Okay, maybe it wasn’t with flying colors, but he passed and that’s the thing that really matters here.  Next was the actual appointment where my blood pressure was the lowest it’s ever been (110/62), there was only trace amounts of protein in my urine and everything looks really good.  Even my blood sugar seems to be evening out.  Just an all around good day.  Of course I’m taking nothing at all for granted and I realize that at tomorrow’s appointment  it could all go to hell in a hand basket.  But for today I’m going to be confident that this pregnancy could actually go all the way to 39 weeks.  I’m really not sure, though, that my belly can take it.

After such a good report yesterday, we went out to celebrate.  Nothing too big, I am still on modified bed rest afterall.  We took Jacob to the mall for pretzel dogs from Auntie Anne’s.  They are one of his favorite “junk foods” and frankly the air conditioning felt good and nobody felt like cooking in the heat last night.  Walking around felt pretty good once we found a nice slow pace that worked for me.  I broke the G.D. rules and had a pretzel and a Coke for dinner (it was delicious and worth every extra carb.)  The exercise seemed to help, though, b/c my blood sugar was still really good when I checked it.  It was like a charmed day yesterday…LOL  We also went to Target to look for some nightgowns that I could wear in the hospital as I don’t think my c-section scar is going to go well with pajama elastic.  Maternity and/or nursing gowns are so expensive for something that you only wear for a short time relatively speaking.  I found a couple of cute gowns that could easily be pulled down for nursing and they weren’t expensive at all.  I also found a really adorable maternity dress that was more expensive and we’re going to get next week.  YAY!!  I’ve come to love the concept of the “maxi dress”.  They are very comfortable and they are very cute; if you like the whole someone put a beach ball under my dress look, which I happen to adore…LOL  We also bought a starter package of baby bottles yesterday.  New bottles for us.  They are called Breastflow and they are very different from regular bottles, or so they say.  They are supposed to be very much like breast-feeding so that they won’t cause nipple confusion.  The baby has to not only suck on the bottle, but compress it as well in order to get any milk.  I know that my mother is going to want to be able to feed the baby and Jacob  has been talking about feeding him from the beginning so I thought that once we’ve got nursing well established (after the first three or four weeks) I can put pumped milk in bottles for them to feed Connor.

On a more fibery note:  I am almost done with the second of the diagonal lace socks.  Two pair down, two to go.  I don’t think that I’ll get four pair done before the big day, but three is a possibility.  I also got the spinning wheel out for the first time since we got back from Arizona.  I’ve been using the spindles to spin a bit, but my arms tire so easily these days.  I’m spinning the pound of karaoke fiber that I have in the playful colorway.  I’m spinning it as thin as I can, which turns out to be pretty thin.  For the first time I’m using the smallest whorl on the wheel and I’m not having the trouble with it that I was when I first tried it.  I really haven’t spent the time playing with/learning how to use the wheel that I should have.  I’ve read the books, I know the different drafting techniques but I’ve never really tried mastering them.  I have more fiber than I know what to do with and I tend to hoard it.  OMG, I’m a hoarder…LOL!!  I’m going to keep working on improving my spinning technique; oddly, while I do well with the finer yarns, I have trouble with maintaining consistency when I try to do anything thicker.  I’m hoping to buy and dye the fiber to spin for a Lady Eleanor Stole eventually.  I’ve wanted to make it for a while but haven’t found yarn in my price range that I love enough to make the effort.  We shall see.  Let’s get some smaller projects done first…:)

32 Week Thursday O.B. Appt.

I figure Week number change which is Tuesday (and always an appt. day) and then Week number with Thursday’s Appt. are the best ways to name these posts and keep everyone up to date re: the progress of this never-ending ordeal.  It’s such an irony, though, b/c the end result is SO very worth it.

So had three appointments yesterday: Dr. A is my perinatologist and he deals with the G.D. aspect of things.  He was happier with my blood sugar numbers.  They are still too high, but now that I’m eating at the times he wants me to eat at (most of the time) they aren’t all over the place anymore.  So we upped my insulin doses and added an extra dose at lunchtime; I’m up to 4 blood sugar checks and 4 insulin pokes a day now.  When I was first told I was going to have to take insulin shots, and in my belly no less, I was really freaked out.  I thought there was no way in the world I was going to be able to stick a needle in my belly and that I was going to have to get TJ to do it for me.  In the end, though, they made me do it at the doctor’s office the first time and I discovered not only wasn’t it as bad as I thought, but you almost can’t even feel it.  So other than the inconvenience of having to eat at specific times and often not getting to eat with my family b/c they are eating way too early or too late for my schedule, the insulin thing isn’t too bad at all.  When I told TJ that I didn’t mind giving myself the shots and that there was actually some twisted part of me that kind of enjoyed it, he looked at me like I was the looniest loon of them all then shrugged and said that I’ve always been kind of morbid anyway…LOL

Appointment #2 was the non-stress test.  That one was 4 hours after appt. #1 so was kind of putzed around the hospital; went for lunch in the yummy cafeteria there (I honestly and truly could eat there every day.  The food is amazing!)  We had lunch and I was actually good; rather than going for the burger and fries that I really wanted I had veggie soup and a salad.  It was good and filling and the carb. count was low.  After eating, though, I got really sharp pains in my upper abdomen.  The kind that bring tears to your eyes.  It didn’t seem to have anything to do with the pregnancy, just belly pain.  UGH.  I ended up laying down on the bench seat in the cafeteria while TJ worked on his presentation for the PTO thing at Jake’s school last night.  Felt better when I woke up (yes, I actually dozed off for a half hour or so – I’m 8 months pregnant what do you want from me…LOL) but the pain was still there just less intense.  Off to the NST.  They settled me into the recliner and put my feet up, gave me the buzzer to mark when Connor kicked and left us alone for a half hour.  Connor was moving great; it seemed like I was constantly pushing the button to mark motion.  Unfortunately yet again he didn’t react the way they wanted him to and we had another failed non-stress.  This is not a good thing.

On to appt. #3.  Dr.s G and H are the only two doctors that I’m seeing in the practice now.  Linda, the midwife I was originally seeing; she handled my pregnancy with Jacob, told me that she felt that with the problems I was having she was out of her depth at this point and she would feel better if I stuck with the doctors.  I appreciated the honesty but will miss seeing her every few weeks.  I really like her so much!!  So yesterday was Dr. G.  He told me there was protein in my urine again, my B.P. was up (144/88) and that they baby failed the NST.  I hit the bad prenatal appt. trifecta ladies and gentlemen.  For a brief moment I had pictures of a hospital room with my name on it, but nope.  We had another Biophysical ultrasound and everything looked pretty good there.  They look for 4 things and score 2 pts. for each thing that he does or that is good.  Connor did everything they wanted to see except for the practice breathing (which he did do earlier in the week at the u/s).  The ultrasound tech said that it wasn’t completely uncommon in babies at 32 weeks not to see it, that they do the breathing thing more and more often the farther along in gestation they are.  Dr. G didn’t seem concerned since that was the only thing he didn’t do.  His movements were good, plenty of amniotic fluid, and he had good muscle tone so I guess I’m happy.  Two more appts. with O.B. next week, two more NSTs and another appt. with Dr. A re: possibly upping insulin again depending on how my numbers look for the rest of this week.  It’s become a habit for us now that on Tuesdays and Thursdays we will accomplish nothing.  Not that I’m getting a ton done on the moderated bed rest anyway.

The doctors all seem to be pretty confident that the baby is doing well and that I’m okay.  So why am I freaking out constantly?  The five days between my Thurs. and Tues. appts. seem so long to me.  I worry almost constantly that something will happen to the baby in that time.  It’s kind of torturous, but I know I’m doing it to myself.  Being in bed most of the time gives me WAY too much time to think, I think.  Just hearing the wrong thing can send me into a tail spin of paranoia that’s so hard to get out of.  We heard the song “Don’t Take the Girl” in the car the other day and it runs through my head constantly now.  That’s not so uncommon with me and songs but with this one, I’m now terrified that something is going to happen to me during the c-section.  I’m terrified of the surgery (and I was so blase about choosing it in the beginning of this pregnancy) and what could happen.  The thought of leaving Jake behind and motherless breaks my heart over and over again every day.  I realize I’d be leaving Connor motherless too, but he wouldn’t know the difference like Jake would.  I feel like Jake has gotten the raw end of the deal over and over again in the pregnancy and he’s been so wonderful about my time in bed and all the sleep I’m getting b/c of the B.P. meds and just being this pregnant (I swear I sleep 15 hours a day sometimes or else I can’t fall asleep at night to save my life and then I can’t keep my eyes open during the day).  He has been so understanding and so supportive and he’s only 5.  I know that he doesn’t really understand what’s going on and he hears bits and pieces of conversations between me and my mother or TJ and his mom or dad.  This has to be so much more frightening for him than he lets on.  Another reason to feel guilty.  I feel like I’m failing Jake in a million little ways lately; that he deserves so much better than I’ve given him.  He already spent the first year and a half of his life being deprived of a real mother b/c of my back problems and the constant high doses of narcotic pain killers I was on and it’s taken a long time for him to feel secure in his place in this family and I feel like I’m depriving him all over again.  The kid is my world and I don’t feel like I deserve him some days.  I’ve decided that I’m breaking bed rest this weekend and taking him to the library.  I figure other than the drive there I’m not really doing anything wrong.  I’ll wear my comfy clothes and all I’ll really do is sit in the chairs by the window and read or knit while I watch him play.  Maybe I’ll even read him a book or two – gasp.  Really not that different from being at home on the couch with him, IMO.  Of course it will all be dependant on my B.P. being good (It was really good this morning:  125/60) and my lack of contractions or other obvious problems.  I think it will be good for him to have a day out with Mommy.

Have a great weekend everyone.  Will try to be back later today or tomorrow with an actual fiber related post.  I’ve been both knitting and spinning this week – big shocker, I know…:)

32 Weeks and another small setback

The good news is that we’ve made it successfully to 32 weeks with this pregnancy and the bp meds seem to be helping to some degree.  The bad news is that everything else seemed to have gone to hell in a handbasket yesterday:  the protein is back in my urine, my midwife has declared that she is way out of her depth with this pregnancy and told me that it’s better if I only see the O.B.’s now (which we knew was coming and, in face, were going to request ourselves), and the worst thing of all, IMO, is that Connor failed his non-stress test.  Quick definition of NST:  They hook you up to two monitors, one to measure baby’s heart rate and the other to keep track of what your uterus is doing contraction-wise during everything.  The goal is to get the baby to move around and to see what his heart rate does in relation to those movements.  Here is how Wikipedia defines a passed test: “a positive (good) result is indicated by a reactive non-stress test. This means that the fetal heart rate increased (acceleration) by at least 15 beats per minute for at least 15 seconds at least twice during a 20 minute interval” Connor, unfortunately, was considered non-reactive b/c his heart rate didn’t change much based on his movements or it decelerated a bit.  This can be a fluke, this can be b/c the baby isn’t moving much during the test (but of course he was; he’s always moving it seems), it can be for a variety of reasons.

We were taken right to ultrasound for a Biophysical Profile which measures certain movements as well as amniotic fluid to make sure everything looked good and, thank God it did.  I’m still worried, though, about the change in the NST.  He passed last Thursday.  So we are at home waiting for my 2nd of two weekly O.B. appts. as well as my second NST of the week.  I really hope that yesterday’s was just a fluke b/c I’m not sure what happens if he fails another one.

I’m been dreaming a lot about his birth and for some reason I’ve got 34 weeks stuck in my head.  It’s not based on anything concrete, obviously, but both sleeping and waking that’s the number I can’t seem to shake.  I think I could live with 34 weeks.  Of course it’s not ideal, but he already weighs close to 5 lbs., he’s had the steroids to mature his lungs and at 34 weeks his suck reflex should be mature enough for him to nurse.  I assume that he’ll need to be monitored in the NICU even if he is bigger, but that is far preferable to spending all my time worrying that something terrible is going to happen to him inside me.  I’m constantly checking his heart rate with the home doppler if I don’t feel him moving for a period of time (my mother renting that for us at the beginning of this pregnancy turned out to be a major godsend.  I think I would be heading to L&D triage 3-4 times a week if I didn’t have that reassurance).  TJ is constantly telling me not to be paranoid about this pregnancy, but it’s kind of hard not to when it seems like everything that can go wrong has thus far.  Right now I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well tomorrow.  Wish us luck…

Will update after tests/appt. tomorrow afternoon.

Along with the pouring rain comes sleet and hail or 31 Weeks Pregnant

We’ve made it to 31 weeks…YAY!!!  Major milestone considering that 4 or 5 days ago I was convinced that this baby was coming in the next few days ready or not… They had already warned me about not eating too much breakfast on any given day that I felt “lousy” when waking up and had given my the 2 day/2 dose betamethasone shot to get Connor’s lungs matured faster than nature might intend.  I spent the entire weekend hooked up to belts and monitors at the Labor and Delivery Triage while they poked and prodded and took blood and urine and tried to determine if I was going to go home, stay there for monitoring or go straight to O.R. (do not pass go, do not collect your baby until weeks of NICU).  In the end I got to go home but with a prescription for Ambien and strict instructions to take it up to twice a day if that’s what it took to keep my happy ass in bed where it belongs.  So home I went and I did take the Ambien twice, but only on the first day and only b/c I was exhausted and the thought of uninterrupted sleep was like a little bit of manna from the Gods above.  I slept for 4 hours uninterrupted that afternoon (man did I have to pee when I woke up, though)

This week has been all about going to the doctor, the dietician, the perinatologist and anyone else that feels like looking at, poking or prodding me.  I’ve had non-stress tests, 24 hour urine tests, liver enzyme and kidney function tests and that’s just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.  My blood sugar (even with the upped insulin) is still up and down, but we think that it has to do with the fact that I’m not eating on a regimented enough schedule, so for the next week I have to eat breakfast at 7:30, snack by 9:30, lunch between 11am and noon, snack by 2-3pm, dinner around 6 ish and a bedtime snack around 9 to 10 pm.  In theory this will bring my sugar to a predictable level.  It may be a predictable high level still, but at least then we’ll know that I need more insulin rather than wondering if it’s the fact that I skipped this meal or that snack that are causing my numbers to go all over the place.  YAY!  My blood pressure is also all over the place.  Just today I had a 138/77 at one doctor’s office and 20 minutes (and no stress or activity) later it was 147/90 at the other doctor’s office.  I come home and take the Labetalol that they prescribed for this problem and it makes me pressure spike even more 147/88; okay, I guess not more exactly, but this med is supposed to LOWER my pressure not keep it the same and make the headaches worse.  ARGH!!!

We did have an ultra-sound today, so I got to see the little bub.  At 31 weeks, my little piggy weighs 4lbs 11oz.  That’s almost 5 lbs.  What the hell is he going to weight at 36 weeks or God help me 39 weeks.  Thank the Lord above for c-sections!!!  Everything with him looks good.  He beat the hell out of me for the whole ultra-sound, which they tell me is a good thing.  He’s a strong little boy and I’m grateful for that!!  Keep it up Connor, Mommy knows you can do it!!!

I’m still on bed rest which makes for all sorts of strange things.  I’m playing a lot of friend catch up on Facebook and it’s so funny the people who you hadn’t thought of in years, or the people from your past that you hated or that hated you that step up and are really supportive and there for you when you are in crisis.  It proves that people really do grow and change after high-school and that, unfortunately there are some people who you always thought would be there for you for your whole life, no matter what, no matter how far away you were, no matter where life took you…you know, the kind of people who you were such a part of and were such a part of you that people thought of you as one person for most of your formative years; people you thought of beyond the meager bonds of friendship and into family that just don’t seem to give a flying…well, you get the picture.  I have a friend like that and I’m not sure what I did to make her have such antipathy for me and for the situation I’m in.  It would have gone such a long way to hear any small words of encouragement from her re: this situation; just to have her ear for an hour the way I used to so I could babble or we could talk about the old days or anything to keep my mind off the horror that is bed-rest etc.  She seems to have decided that I’m not worthy of being a part of her life anymore and I have to accept that.  I don’t hold it against her, of course, I wish her all the happiness in the world; if anyone deserves it it’s her and the wonderful man she married (who I don’t get to hear from anymore either, but that, I guess is to be expected).  I hope they live the rest of their lives in unmitigated bliss having everything they want and all the joy they can take from it.  I just hope she thinks of what we had on occasion and maybe misses me a little bit.  I will always miss her.

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about the past while stuck in this bed.  Little OCD fits, I call them.  Sometimes I miss being in high school.  Things were much simpler then.  Fun didn’t have as many consequences and you had everything to look forward to.  Some of my new FB friends are making me think more and more about that past and just how very long ago it was.  Do you ever wonder if there was any way to get some of that back?  Of course then the rational part kicks back in and realizes that the life we all have as adults is so much more rewarding than being 16 or 17 again could ever be, but as John Travolta and Olivia Newton John put it best: “Oh, those Summer nights….”  I leave you with that thought for tonight.  Ponder it well and think about what you miss and what you would love to go back to for just one night…I know what my choice would be, no competition!

7 months old

I’m starting to think if it wasn’t for bad luck I wouldn’t
have any luck at all. The G.D. is not getting better, in fact
we started insulin today. 3x a day I have to jab myself in
the stomach with a needle to help keep my blood sugar down. I
know I shouldn’t complain, it’s keeping Connor healthy as well as
myself, but it makes me feel like I’ve failed in some way. Today
was my 30 week prenatal appointment. I was a bit nervous
about it b/c it was with the OB as opposed to the midwife that I’m
used to. This is the same doctor that I dealt with for my
fertility treatments and for some reason I thought I didn’t care
for his bedside manner, or him to be honest, too much when I saw
him late last year. I’m not sure where that judgement came
from (maybe I was just down on everything during that period of
time b/c of my fear that I would never be able to get pregnant
again) b/c after my appointment today, I couldn’t love the man
more. It was NOT a good appointment, unfortunately, but his
bedside manner, jokes, and just generally good attitude made things
that much easier to take. My blood pressure was through the
roof compared to what it’s been lately (140/100) and I’ve had
visual disturbances, headaches and swelling for the last week or
so. So now we’re thinking pre-eclampsia as well as the G.D.
and that is not good. I had to have blood work done to check
my liver and kidney function (both are good thank God) and I have
to come in for ultrasounds every week between now and when I give
birth to keep an eye on how Connor is doing. Today’s
ultrasound was good, so I guess I do have some good luck afterall.
I’m also going to be seeing the perinatologist at the office
that’s dealing with the G.D. for an in-depth ultrasound (seeing
Connor so much these days) but that will just be the one time I
think. Dr. H (my OB) said he would be happy to be the doctor
that does my c-section which thrills me b/c I think he’ll be a very
calming presence in the O.R. When I asked him about a date
for the section, he didn’t give me one, but did say that he doubted
I would make it to 39 weeks due to the symptoms I’m having now and
the fact that Jake was a 37 week baby and so big (just under 9
lbs.) So I don’t know when Connor will be here at this point.
I’m 30 weeks + 1 today and I’d be happy to make it to 36/37
weeks. As long as Connor is big enough (shouldn’t be a
problem) and his lungs are developed enough for him not to need the
NICU I’m fine with whatever they decide to do. I am on a modified
version of bedrest right now. I don’t have to stay in bed all
the time, but I also can’t be running around doing things.
I’m supposed to laze around on the couch, take care of myself
etc. I can do things around here as I feel up to it, but he
doesn’t want me running off to the mall, grocery shopping etc. for
the time being. Maybe if my blood pressure goes down it will
change. The only really bad part about all of this is that
there is a field trip for Jake’s class in a few weeks that I wanted
to go on and a carnival that the PTO is throwing for the elementary
school kids that I really wanted to be a part of that I’m
going to have to miss. I told TJ, though, that I don’t care
what my BP or the doctors say there is no way I’m missing Jake’s
Kindergarten graduation on June 9th (unless I’m in the hospital
having the baby, of course). He understood and said he didn’t
think that counted as strenuous activity. Fingers crossed
that BP just goes down and other pre-e symptoms get under control
so that life can be semi-normal until the baby is here. All
of this puts so much pressure on TJ and it makes me feel so guilty.
I know that he knows that it’s not my fault and this isn’t a
choice I”m making, but for so much of our marriage – through all of
my depression etc. – I have made the choice to lay all the work at
his feet that it doesn’t seem to make a difference in my
head/heart. It doesn’t feel fair that he has to take on
getting Connor’s room ready, figuring out how to get up north
without leaving Jake and I alone overnight so he can get the
crib/baby clothes etc. that are stored up there from when Jake was
a baby etc. It’s a nightmare. One happyish note, though…the
insulin needle in the belly isn’t painful at all and it’s not quite
as icky as I anticipated. It’s all a mental thing, I guess.
I actually don’t even feel the needle going in; I just jab it
in there fast and hard and get it over with…so yay for no pain, I
guess. On the knitting front: I think the Hot Flash STR yarn
is cursed. I really liked the Tresse
socks when I started them, and I still really like the pattern, but
I don’t like the way it’s coming out with this yarn. I think
I’m knitting it a little too tightly – even though I got gauge –
and it just doesn’t work for me. This is the second pair of
socks I’ve frogged in this yarn. I’ve decided that this
particular skein doesn’t want to be socks at all. So now I’m
looking for a good shawlette pattern for it. I think I
might have found it but we’ll see after swatching etc. is done.
I’m kind of off the sock kick (that didn’t last long) a bit
and itching to make something different. I still have a few
pairs of socks that I will work on: the HandMaiden (or is it Fleece
Artist? I can never remember) BFL Sock in Stone
diagonal lace toe up socks for one, but I just feel like I need to
have something else on the needles as well. Since the yarn
bins are in a bit of a clutter right now and I’m limited to what I
can get my hands on yarn-wise, I’m limited but I’ll make due.
There are several shawl patterns that I want to play with and
the yarn that goes with them is accessable. There is also all
that fiber I have to spin up for various things that I could really
get into. I should really use this “rest” time I’m being
given (read forced into) for being fiberly productive. Have a great
rest of the week everyone…I’m going to try. I say that like
there is really anyone at all reading this LMAO!!