WARNING: This post contains personal life stuff as well as knitting. If you don’t want to read my drama skip to the third paragraph…
I have been woefully lacking in my attempt to post at least three times a week. It’s been a hell of a month…I have hardly even held needles since my last Turn a Square Hat post. More on that in a bit… So here’s a, quick overview of the situation that got us to where we are today. My husband and I separated 2 1/2 years ago and during that time an old friend became A LOT more. Long story short we fell madly in love extremely quickly. We have been inseparable ever since. The only thing that changed was the fact that both of us were heavily on the rebound when we got together and it all kind of fell apart after six months. He dumped me over the phone…while I was in the HOSPITAL! We stayed close and we are now best friends and roommates. The thing is, until a month ago we lived our lives like nothing had changed. We had no title but it was exactly the same as it was when we were together. We slept in the same bed, had sex, are still raising his son and my boys together, visit our (I adopted them all in my heart and they repay ed the favor in kind) family together. I’m Aunt Shannon to his niece and nephew. We still hug and I kiss him on the cheek or shoulder before bed, then say I love you to each other. It was a twisted relationship for sure, but it worked. Then he met a random Internet girl and it’s all chaos. I’m a jealous wreck even though I really have no right to be. It feels like he just broke up with me again. And bc he doesn’t have a car he wants to use mine to go spend the night with her. It’s kind of like an ice pick in my heart but I give in occasionally bc I want him to be happy. I’m making an effort to get to know her; I’m hoping it will make things easier for me. I can’t even imagine seeing them together, though. If they cuddle or make out or hold hands in front of me I might burst into tears. Such a, messed, up situation. He’s mad at me bc I’m not jumping up and down with joy about this and I have no clue how to fake that kind of enthusiasm. I’m at the point where I’m just praying for the strength to make it through this. The weird thing is that I don’t think it’s about him not being with me, it’s more about being terrified about the changes to our friendship that will inevitably occur in our friendship. I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve never known a woman who was comfortable with her new boyfriend living with his female best friend who also happens to be his ex who he still slept with until just before they met. She seems pretty cool so far though. We’ve messaged back and forth on Facebook today. Enough whining for today…I think that this blog maybe a vehicle for trying to sort out the emotional baggage that I have…my romantic life is a shambles, I’m terrified of the divorce, and I worry I’m about to lose my best friend…I’m a mess.
Boy it felt GOOD to get that out. I welcome thoughts, advice, opinions etc. Onto knitting: As I said, I have done very little on the needles. Turn a Square Hat has been allocated to the frog pile. I love the, pattern and intend to try again, but my join at the beginning of the round looked bad. I could have lived with that and called it unique but when it came time for smaller needles stitches got dropped and ran a lot. It was purely a, disaster.
I did do a little work on my Clapotis. I love the green-blue colorway – called 7th Heaven – and the softness and shine of the bamboo.
I have been spinning though. I’ve been doing a little practice plying on the wheel. I still don’t ever think I’ll get it right…but I’ll keep trying. I was trying to chain ply my Kareoke singles in the Playful colorway to maintain the color changes. Not such a great result.
I spun the singles really thin (seems that’s all I can do now that I mastered it) and during the plying there was a lot of singles snapping and splitting in half. I’ll keep at it though. Finally I’m spindle spinning a merino/tencel combo 80/20 I believe. The colorway is called Little Bunny Foo Foo. It’s a blend of yellow then green then lt. Purple and finished off with pink. I tore it into strips to maintain color patterns. I’m finished with 2 of them and the third is, on the spindle already.
I can’t decide how to ply it, but the singles are fine and thin. I’m thinking either straight 3 ply or chain plying. Again, thoughts are always appreciated.
One more opinion type thing if you are so inclined. I need to shake things up a bit. My hair needs a drastic change for divorce time. Thoughts???
Here it is now…ugh. definitely Need something new. Thanks again, if you made it this far…