Kick Me….

Please, someone kick me in the butt and get me to work on these knitting goals I have set. I’ve joined the Wendy Knits Mystery Shawl Along and am challenging myself to knit 1000 yards as well as wheel spin 6 oz. of fiber (any suggestions….fiber, way to spin, weight etc. Think of me as a total noob who has the fortune, or misfortune of being able to spin only fairly thinly.)Then there is the dreaded plying part…I challenged myself to ply at least 1/2 of the singles spun on the wheel. I dread plying more than anything else for some reason. I’ve never really taken the time to get to know how to do it properly and now I’m scared of messing up perfectly passable singles while trying to “fiddle” with them more.
I got all my yarn and fiber out for a Ravelry stash update and sadly lacking fiber stash. I was going to post some fibery porn for y’all today, but haven’t gotten around to it. I got a new phone yesterday (Galaxy s5) and it’s great so far. So much to play with that I haven’t gotten down all the little tricks and shortcuts. Any tips much appreciated. 🙂
So B having a girlfriend is a lot harder on me than even I thought it would be. I realize that he’s right in the respect that if I really love him and he really is my best friend, then I should want him to be happy. And I do. I’m just so freaking selfishly worried about what happens to me as this….relationship….progresses. What girlfriend in their right mind would be okay with her new man living with his best friend, who just happens to be a female, who just happens to be his ex, who’s kids just happen to call him dad….I just don’t see her sitting back and respecting the friendship we have. I am terrified that she’s going to make him choose and three years of friendship goes flying out the window for some chick who I doubt will still be around in 6 months. It happens that way….Living together was complicated enough when we were friends “with benefits”. There was a release for the tension that builds constantly in this house, there was a balance somehow. He thinks I was pretending we were a couple, and maybe in the ease of living way, I was. It’s easy to get into a routine. I don’t want us to necessarily be together, but I also don’t want this little family that we’ve built with me and him and my kids and his son to go away. I just don’t see how the two things: his new relationship and our little blended family can be anything but mutually exclusive. Any thoughts?
This I why I need to get the needles and wheels and fiber and yarn etc. and loose myself in it. I need to stop the brain from whirring along and turning this into some horrible situation where I feel like my whole way of life is being fucked with and that I have to fight or run. I need to learn to chill out and see what comes next. How though? I feel like I’m stuck in quicksand.
Okay, thanks for coming to my pity party. It was rather impromptu, but I appreciate those of you who stuck around. I will throw a fiber porn party tomorrow, once I figure some shit out with my new phone, to make up for this maudlin crap today. Hope you are all having a fluffy or silky or whatever floats your boat kind of fibery day…

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