32 Weeks and another small setback

The good news is that we’ve made it successfully to 32 weeks with this pregnancy and the bp meds seem to be helping to some degree.  The bad news is that everything else seemed to have gone to hell in a handbasket yesterday:  the protein is back in my urine, my midwife has declared that she is way out of her depth with this pregnancy and told me that it’s better if I only see the O.B.’s now (which we knew was coming and, in face, were going to request ourselves), and the worst thing of all, IMO, is that Connor failed his non-stress test.  Quick definition of NST:  They hook you up to two monitors, one to measure baby’s heart rate and the other to keep track of what your uterus is doing contraction-wise during everything.  The goal is to get the baby to move around and to see what his heart rate does in relation to those movements.  Here is how Wikipedia defines a passed test: “a positive (good) result is indicated by a reactive non-stress test. This means that the fetal heart rate increased (acceleration) by at least 15 beats per minute for at least 15 seconds at least twice during a 20 minute interval” Connor, unfortunately, was considered non-reactive b/c his heart rate didn’t change much based on his movements or it decelerated a bit.  This can be a fluke, this can be b/c the baby isn’t moving much during the test (but of course he was; he’s always moving it seems), it can be for a variety of reasons.

We were taken right to ultrasound for a Biophysical Profile which measures certain movements as well as amniotic fluid to make sure everything looked good and, thank God it did.  I’m still worried, though, about the change in the NST.  He passed last Thursday.  So we are at home waiting for my 2nd of two weekly O.B. appts. as well as my second NST of the week.  I really hope that yesterday’s was just a fluke b/c I’m not sure what happens if he fails another one.

I’m been dreaming a lot about his birth and for some reason I’ve got 34 weeks stuck in my head.  It’s not based on anything concrete, obviously, but both sleeping and waking that’s the number I can’t seem to shake.  I think I could live with 34 weeks.  Of course it’s not ideal, but he already weighs close to 5 lbs., he’s had the steroids to mature his lungs and at 34 weeks his suck reflex should be mature enough for him to nurse.  I assume that he’ll need to be monitored in the NICU even if he is bigger, but that is far preferable to spending all my time worrying that something terrible is going to happen to him inside me.  I’m constantly checking his heart rate with the home doppler if I don’t feel him moving for a period of time (my mother renting that for us at the beginning of this pregnancy turned out to be a major godsend.  I think I would be heading to L&D triage 3-4 times a week if I didn’t have that reassurance).  TJ is constantly telling me not to be paranoid about this pregnancy, but it’s kind of hard not to when it seems like everything that can go wrong has thus far.  Right now I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well tomorrow.  Wish us luck…

Will update after tests/appt. tomorrow afternoon.

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