I’m not pregnant

There’s an interesting title for a blog post. It’s true, though. The hubby and I have been talking about/trying to get pregnant for a little while now, but to no avail.

****WARNING*** Personal, somewhat icky (to some) information re: my reproductive system coming up… Will let you know when it’s over…

Getting pregnant with Jacob was fairly easy. I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler and started charting. It worked. Within 3-4 cycles, I was pregnant with Little Man. Periods were slow to come back after I stopped pumping (he wouldn’t nurse adequately and I was determined to give him only breast milk for the first six months…that’s a whole post of its own, though) and weren’t regular to say the least; number of days ranged from 30 days (not bad) to 90+ days (kind of crazy). Didn’t really think much about it at the time since we weren’t interested in getting pregnant at the time. Since my back has been better, though, it’s become more and more an obsession of mine. It’s kind of like knitting and spinning but without the pretty yarn. So I’ve been keeping an eye on things and discovered something terrible. I’m not ovulating at all, nor am I getting a period without the help of Provera every three months. This is very disconcerting to say the least. My doctor has been rather casual about the whole thing, not wanting to get too crazy with treatment or even tests too soon. Frustrating, but I’ve been going with it. A few weeks ago, she gave in and ordered a panel of blood tests (which I’m still waiting to hear anything about the results on) and said that after getting them she’d call in a Progesterone cream script for me. Hasn’t happened yet. The frustrating thing is that my body is giving me all the signs of the regular hormonal things happening: My cervical mucus (that’s such an ugly sounding phrase) regularly goes from dry to sticky to wet and egg whitey several times per “cycle”. I regularly have three or four days of “egg white CM” which tricks me into thinking I might be fertile. I have to admit that I haven’t been great about the morning temping (by this I mean I haven’t been doing it) so I don’t have that information to look at. I also get the pregnancy/period on its way symptoms on a regular basis. Take this month for example: my boobs are heavy, rounder and sore, the veins in them are much more noticeable (it’s like a road map on my chest), I’ve had heart burn on and off for about a week and a half (that was the first sign with Jacob), not to mention the cramping which has been going on for a few days.

***END OF TMI WARNING***

All of these signs/symptoms led me to believe that it was possible that I really might have ovulated without realizing it and might indeed be pregnant. I didn’t get my hopes up too far b/c I knew just how unlikely it was that after all this time I’d just start ovulating, but I couldn’t help getting the tiniest bit excited at that thought. Another mid to late summer baby wasn’t a great thought, but at this point, I’ll take what I can get. Did a pregnancy test last night and, of course, it was negative. What was I expecting though. I’m starting to wonder if I don’t have to just accept the fact that Little Man will be the only baby I have. It’s not like I’m getting any younger. I really wanted to go with a more aggressive stance on testing and treating my fertility problems, but Dr. M doesn’t think it’s a good idea. I’m not concerned enough, yet, to push it to another doctor, but I’m not sure how far away that is, either.

Onto other topics. Color Wonder fingerpaints. Can I just say Hooray for these. Jacob wants to draw/paint etc. all the time. The problem with this is that, like any three year old, he has no comprehension that the bed, walls, cat etc. are not the appropriate places to do this. For example, I lay down with him one day last week for nap time and he woke up before me, rather than wake me up like he normally does, he got into my knitting notions bag and pulled out my dry erase markers that I use for marking up the page sleeves I keep my patterns in and drew all over my $200 dollar (my one real luxury item are my sheets) sheets, my pajamas and himself. I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or kill him. I chose laugh b/c really, what could I do. After that TJ and I sat him down and had a talk with him, but I really don’t think he gets it. We tried the Color Wonder line when he was a little younger – the marker and coloring book set – but he didn’t show much interest in it. He didn’t have the patience to wait for the chemical reaction to make the color develop. Those markers really do take a long time to develop the color. We bought the finger paints at the same time, but after his reaction to the markers we didn’t bother to get them out. The other night while TJ and I were making dinner, I got them out as a last ditch effort to get him to behave while we were cooking. Amazingly enough, he was fascinated by it. For the last few days it’s all he’s wanted to do. Of course we don’t let him finger paint all day, but it’s a great way to give him something to do that isn’t messy and totally engrosses him. I strongly recommend them to all parents of toddlers who have any interest in coloring/painting etc.

Knitting content: I figure, since the word Knits is in the title of this blog, there should be something said about knitting. The BJL&L Shawl is coming along nicely. I’ve got 10 1/2 of 25 repeats done. I don’t see a problem with getting it done long before Christmas, though. Or at least on time. I’m also working on the Circular Shrug which is my mindless knitting project. It’s all k2p2 ribbing and a mock rib pattern. I’m enjoying working on it and hope to have it done before Christmas so I can wear it. I’m making it with Noro Silver Thaw and it’s soft and very vibrant. The main colors are oranges and blue greens. I’ll post a picture when I get around to it. I’m really glad I only committed to two projects for Christmas this year. Anymore and I would have been screwed. There are actually a few more gifts I’m planning to make, but they are for people who know that they won’t be done until after the holiday. Small things like a ball band bag etc.

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One thought on “I’m not pregnant

  1. I think I’ve seen your comments on another blog. I always kinda took my fertility for granted too! At least in the 80s. Myyyyyy how time flew by for me.

    Especially since my miscarriage 20 or so months ago. I hope it’s not too late. I am on my 6 day, second month of tracking. I’ll start OPKs again on Tuesday.

    I;ll visit again soon.

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