A visit from Nan and face mask hell

Haven’t had much time to write lately. Had Nan here for the last week or so…such fun. It was great to get to spend some time with her, unfortunately, we also had to go to a funeral for her ex-boyfriend’s father. It was very sad, but the wake was actually kind of fun. Is it wrong to say that? It was a celebration of Tony’s life and everyone seemed to be having a good time, as good as can be expected in a situation like that, anyway.

The sleep apnea machine is here and it’s helping. I’m having a lot of trouble with the claustrophobia issue, though. I have to take Klonopin to get calm enough not to rip it off in a panic and that leaves me a little groggy the next day. I’m hoping that with time I’ll be able to lower the dose as I adjust until I don’t need it. I’m not using the machine as much as I should, but I’m trying and I’m feeling a difference already. I was told about Sleep Deprivation Banking, which basically means that my body has stored up sleep deprivation and so I’m still feeling the effects of it even now, but it’s not as bad as when I wasn’t using anything. So hopefully I’ll be back up to full strength and speed soon enough.

Jacob had his three year check up and things are good. We talked about behavior issues and how much I’ve spoiled him b/c of the guilt that I have for the time I couldn’t care for him as a baby. Dr. V. told me I need to just get over it, that he doesn’t remember it and that I’m not doing him any favors by spoiling him. Good advice and I’ve taken it to heart. We’re working on the concept of “NO” with him now. Lots of tantrums but I’m ignoring them like the doctor told me to. They are still fierce, but they seem to be getting shorter in duration. Dr. V. told us we have to deal with one issue at a time (he actually said up to three, but we’re going with one until we have some of the worst problems under control) and the next one will be sleeping in his room. I actually wanted to tackle this first but Dr. V. suggested we wait until he’s a little more under control. So he’s still laying here next to me while TJ sleeps downstairs. UGH…I’m lonely. The only problem is that his tonsils are on the large side; that combined with snoring and some random apneatic incidents means that we have to see the ENT on Thursday the 30th and decide if he’s having his tonsils out. I’m so worried even though it’s a simple thing and he probably won’t even need them out.

As for knitting. I’m working on a million things; I’ve got Lizard Ridge going as well as Booga Bag and X-mas knitting. Oh, and a pair of Jaywalkers and my scarf for my secret pal. I’ve been working on the swap scarf most, but I’ve had so little time to knit with everyone being sick and traveling down to my FIL’s.

We got to see our “old” friends, who are still very much our friends and it was so great!!! I didn’t realize how much I missed them until we were with all of them and their kids and Jake. He had a great time with Connor and Hunter and Griffin as well as Jude and Alexandria. All his little “cousins” were with him for the first time and I reveled in watching him have so much fun!!!


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