I made it through the second night of the sleep study. This one was a lot more anxiety invoking in me, though. We tried the different masks for me (claustrophobic people should not be forced to cover their faces) and it seemed like all was well with the mask that only covered my face, but alas when I lay down to go to sleep, I felt like I was being suffocated and started to have a serious panic attack. I breath through my mouth when I sleep, have for as long as I can remember, and that is not a good thing when you have pressurized air being pumped up your nose to keep your airway open. After inhaling through my mouth, I experienced a feeling like my tongue being forced up against the back and roof of my mouth and forcing the airway closed instead of the other way. My nose started to get stuffy and I felt like I was going to suffocate. Not a good feeling. We ended up changing the type of mask to the one that goes over both my nose and mouth (the very one that I was most afraid of) so that I would be able to continue breathing through my mouth. It was still a little scary but with the help of my friend Klonopin, I was able to soldier on and not rip the thing off my face. I slept in the same position all night, apparently, and only woke up once or twice (I don’t remember either time). The next step is to have a medical equipment representative (how official does that sound for what is basically a clerk in a store? ) come to the house and outfit me with my own
little device of terror CPAP machine so that I will spend my nights terrified sleeping soundly. We are hopeful that this will be the only step that we need to take. I really don’t want to have to consider surgery. I did wake up feeling more rested this morning, but still had a lot of daytime sleepiness today. It takes time, they tell me, though, for me to feel the effects. I’m hopeful now, though. Maybe this will turn around my energy problem. I really want to have the energy to run and play with Jacob for more than just a short while. I’ve got my fingers crossed.
On a more depressing note, my mother is still not speaking to me. I don’t want to go into the gory and depressing details, but suffice it to say, I think the whole thing is pretty unfair and I’m really hurt by the whole thing. In my mother’s defense, she does have a reason to be upset with me, but the way she’s handling it is totally
crazy over reaction. No matter what is going down between us, though, I still love her very much and hope she changes her mind soon. I could really use her love and support while I deal with this apnea thing. I don’t know what it is about it, but it’s really got me shaken up in a big way; I find the fact that I stop breathing while I sleep totally terrifying. I think it has to do with being out of control of something as important as my breathing. I think I’m just a bit of a control freak worrier. LOL
Onto the knitting stuff:
I completely screwed up row 9 of the Fifi pattern which is the first cable row. I did figure out how working the twist without the needle works and that was pretty cool, but I kept pulling the waiting stitches out, so as time consuming as it is, I’m going to just use the cable needle for it. I forgot the part about k2 at the beginning of each marked off section and didn’t realize it until I was almost all the way around and the stitches didn’t add up. I tried to TINK it back, but got confused, started dropping stitches and ended up frogging the whole thing. I’ve got the CO done again, but haven’t started row 1.
My Noro Hana Silk for the Red Carpet Convertible came today. It’s gorgeous. I ended up with Color Number 59, Fuschia and the color is pretty true to the picture on the YarnMarket site. I got a great deal, too. I got 10 skeins for $58.00. I love Ebay!!! I’m wondering if, given the problem I had with Fifi I should switch to the RCC pattern instead. Decisions, decisions, decisions…